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What’s Your Story, Morning Glory?

February 12, 2011

For my Secret Mommyhood Confession Saturday post I bring you this, my confession: I’m starting to lose sight of what my story is.

When I started this blog about six weeks ago, I had no preconceived ideas about what it would become. I had no real goals for it. I just wanted to get it out there. Tell the truth about my experience and hope that somewhere, some time, it would help someone.

Well, it helped me. I truly feel like a totally different person than I did six weeks ago. Oh, I know I’m not “better” – whatever that may mean now – but I’m better than I was and that’s partly due to writing about it.

I’ve also discovered that I like this – this telling of the story, this ability to frame my life in a certain way, this opportunity to be part of a different community. I really like it.

I’m still thinking through some stuff, but what happens if I don’t have this PPD story to tell anymore? What if it’s not so central to my daily life? I can’t just go back over the last two years and tell all the little, seemingly insignificant stories – the day I yelled, the day all I did was cry, the day I called my parents and told them to come and pick him up RIGHT NOW. Can I? Who wants to read that? Do I want to write that? Do I need to?

I don’t know.

But I don’t know what this blog is about without it. I don’t want to be just another mommy blogger. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) I want to have a purpose for all these dots and dashes I’m contributing to the wilds of cyberspace. And I want it to be more than self-indulgent self reflection.

I guess for now my story is still defining itself. And I guess for now I’m all right with that.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 12, 2011 3:35 pm

    Once you find your footing, you will run with it. Blogging about your PPD will help out so many women. Even if you didn’t write about it, just know that there is power behind what we say no matter how big or small. Someone is always listening.

  2. February 12, 2011 3:01 pm

    Maybe your story will be that you have healed, and that you can be hope for those of us who pray and pray and pray that this will be us someday. Hopefully PPD will just be one season of your life that–no matter how long it lasted–brought you some meaning. Sending you positive thoughts for continued healing!

  3. February 12, 2011 2:27 pm

    I think you are on the road to finding what your story is… It’s a journey.

    You are a woman. You are a friend. You are a writer. You are a wife. You are a mother. And soon, you will be a mother that found her way through and despite battling PPD.

    One step at a time. Be patient with yourself.

  4. MellieMom permalink
    February 12, 2011 1:16 pm

    I think that’s a sign of healing…the big issue is breaking up and being reabsorbed into the new you. I’m with you no matter where you’re going! XO

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